The Machine Ate My Card

Machines can be like people. They seem to have the capacity to get hungry and are capable of swallowing things.

Time check: it's 01:31am now as I'm writing this. It's my daily ritual to have coffee before retiring for the night and since I needed to draw some cash for the morning later, I went over to Boon Lay Shopping Centre where I can buy coffee and use the teller machine there.

So I inserted my card into the machine's inviting gaping metallic mouth and proceeded to key in the amount I wanted to draw. And when I heard it making strange noises which only a machine having constipation could make, I found myself muttering "Uh-oh" under my breath.

What machine constipation noises, you ask? Come on, everybody has experienced hardware failure, especially if their machines happen to be running on Windoze. It's that kind of 'Kkrrr Kkrrrr' noises. That ATM machine was making that kind of noise as if it couldn't decide to swallow or spit out my card.

I suppose the bank engineers have included the following programming conditions on the teller machines:

void main();
{
(Yada Yada)
if (in doubt);
{
Just swallow;
}
(more programming Yada)
}

So the teller machine ate my card. And there's a reason why they printed the bank's hotline number on the machines. So I called the line and was told they will cancel the card immediately and I was given 2 choices:

1) Either they can mail a new card to me which will take at most a week or

2) I can pop down to any of the bank's branches and get a new card processed for me on the spot.

So I opted for option 2. I can't imagine how I could cope without a card for a week and I do not wish to trouble my Lioness to lend me enough cash to tide over the waiting period.

Throughout my life, friends have told me about the same thing happening to them. I'm now 38 and this is the very first time this has happened to me, warranting the reason for recording this event in my blog. I mean, it's akin to my cash withdrawal card losing its virginity to the teller machine after all these years, you know.

So this ought to be a significant first-time event but nah, there's nothing exciting about it and no fireworks went off. In fact, it's gonna be a damned hassle.

Rant over. Carry on.

Oh wait, in case you are curious, the machine didn't had the cheek to burp in my face. Otherwise, I would have fucking kicked it or something to return the courtesy.

- De Lion Speaks