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We are what we think & my blog entries reflect how I think. Have a sip of the poison of my mind.. It's not always lethal.

Thursday, May 15, 2014

The Weary Body's Worst Enemy: A Mind That Refuses To Stop Playing

It's past 1a.m.
Company meeting is at 9a.m.

Dear insomnia, the best thing about you is that you give me time to anticipate questions and prepare for their answers. The worst thing about you is that by the time the questions come, I'll be so spaced out I'll either fumble on, or forget my answers.

Zero sum game. Why even bother.

There is no kill switch to shut off the mind; not even in slumber, not even in death. One can destroy that which is physical and tangible but how does one go about destroying that which is intangible and which resides in the mental realm?

It's like energy and if you didn't play truant during your Science classes, you know that energy cannot be created nor destroyed; you can only transform it from one state to another - Which means there is a constant total amount of energy in the universe.

Darn, that didn't work. Maybe if I go watch some soap opera on YouTube.. Oh gosh, having nightmares would be just as bad. And counting sheep never works for me since the subjects I've always hated the most since my school days have always been mathematics and statistics which I really suck at, ugh.

It's odd how my counting abilities will suddenly seem like my best expertise everytime I tabulate my work commissions though.

Insomnia has always been all in the mind for me. I love it during the weekends but I suffer from it during the weekday mornings unless I happen to be on leave.

The mind can be like an unbridled and untamed wild mustang that likes to run in the opposite direction your body is telling you to go and yours truly is stuck in the middle and getting ripped apart between the two, right here and right now.

Since my mustang still wants to race and gallop away and it's insistent and persistent about it, I might as well hang on to it and enjoy the ride. I guess I can only truly rest when my horsie itself becomes tired - which the body has pretty much nothing to do with. Yeehar.

-De Lion Speaks

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