About Me

My photo
We are what we think & my blog entries reflect how I think. Have a sip of the poison of my mind.. It's not always lethal.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Cornered. Again.

Three times in a row today, I was asked by 3 of my dear Pharmacists customer-friends about when I'm gonna start working on a kid with my Lioness (and one of them is 5 months into her pregnancy). Ever since I went past the age of 30, friends & relatives have been asking me that.

So I've derived a default answer to that question: "See when you are free." I'm so used to that question that it doesn't really bother or intimidate me, but being asked 3 times in a row in one day? Well, that did get me pondering about the situation.

Ok, I'll secretly admit that everytime I'm being asked that, a little small corner in my mind fidgets a little due to a bit of... discomfort & apprehension. It's kinda akin to a little wedgie. See, my Lioness is of age for child-bearing.

So for anyone, like my 3 Pharmacist friends today who bother to dig into the matter with me a little further, I'd explain that it's not that I do not wish to have a kid, it's just that I'm not emotionally ready yet because I am not yet ready with the prospect of giving up my personal time for my hobbies & pursuits at the moment.

See, having a kid is like deciding to get a pet; if you think & feel that you cannot afford the necessary time to take care of a pet, it'd be better not to have one. Not only would you pressurize yourself but your pet will suffer due to inadequate care & focus.

But I always add that I am aware of myself being a little selfish in thought here, since my Lioness cannot remain young forever. Thus, everytime I really think deeply about this issue, I cannot help but feel cornered by life & time.

It's like a tug-of-war: I know that since a meaningful marriage ought to climax by reaching the ultimate fulfillment of setting up my own family with my spouse by sowing my seeds & creating little lion cubs in our den, my requirement for personal time is at odds here, since whether I like it or not, time is indeed catching up on us. Age.

Anyhow, I always conclude by telling everyone that I hope to have a daughter some day. I've even decided on the name of my future daughter already.

Oh well..

Anyway, I have just finished work & am standing outside Great World City. The time now is coming to 8pm. This is the first Friday that I've worked till this late because the heavy downpour earlier today trapped me in my house & I had to wait for it to subside before I could get out of the house for work.

Notable events that happened today: The Pharmacist who is with child gave me 2 tubes of Ketoprofen gel when I told her I wanted to buy one for my dad-in-law whose knee has swelled up & he's in pain. Bless her generous soul.

And I was quite taken aback by her cynicism regarding her description of how becoming pregnant made her & her hubby realize & experience a different & harsher reality from pre-pregnancy flowery thoughts of the joys of having a baby. Things which used to be a breeze like work & the traveling to-&-fro to the work place have all suddenly become a tiresome burden now that she's with child.

Fancy a cynic like me being taken aback by cynicism. Sometimes, we just hate our own poison.

And she even mentioned that on many occasions, nobody would give up their seats for her in the train. Society here has gone to the dogs.

So I'm here outside Great World City sipping strawberry milkshake from Mac and the condominium before me across the street looks lovely what with all the lightings about on this damp night but I wonder why there are really tall rooms that take up like 2 stories on several of the floors. Here, see for yourself:

- De Lion Speaks

No comments: